Oh Barbados!

When people ask me where I’m from, they’re usually shocked to hear Barbados. Here is an example of one recent conversation I had at Starbucks:

Stranger: So where are you from?

Me: I’m from the West Indies...Barbados.

Stranger: (extended pause and staring at me)
Another few odd seconds pass.

Stranger: Really???

Me: Yep.

Stranger: I would have never thought that (still giving me a hard look). I thought South Africa or Australia?

I roll my eyes, but politely respond

Me: No....im from Barbados

Despite the many disbelievers, I was born and bred on the small island just over two decades ago. Yes, I am a 100% Bajan! (Okay, maybe 99% - I don’t drink sorrel - it’s so gross)

Growing up on island isn’t the paradise people make it out to be. Okay. I admit that we’ve got sun all year round. And there are beautiful beaches with palm trees and coconuts. But beyond the glossy tourist postcards, Barbados has a rich and vibrant history- thanks to the Englishmen who first settled on the island in 1627. Under the British, the small island soon became known as “Los Barbados” (meaning bearded fig trees). During my school years, besides learning about the Arawaks and Caribs (Indians who inhabited the Caribbean island before the British) I learnt a lot about British colonisation, the transatlantic slave trade, and of course sugar !

When I say ‘sugar’ I don’t mean that white processed shit you find in the supermarket. I mean the raw brown sugar that comes in chunky crystals (pretty much you’re dentist’s worst nightmare).

Anyways, with large acres of untouched arable land, Barbados soon became a prime sugar cane producing centre. Sugar cane, big ugly stalks covered the island from the east to west, keeping the locals busy until crop over season. Although sugar cane is no longer Barbados’s primary industry, crop-over is still a big deal. Basically during crop-over, all the sugar cane is cut down and trucked off to the sugar factories to be made into sugar. At the same time the locals party their heads off, drinking and dancing up a storm from dawn to dusk, until they can’t walk or talk any more. Yes – it’s a lot of ruckus (almost like a Superbowl wknd). Thankfully, I escaped that chaos when I came to Canada. Or so I thought, until I learned about Caribana (basically a cut and copy version of crop over or any other Caribbean carnival).

Anyways, Barbados, (under the British) became a leading exporter of sugar, other raw goods and rum. But, it was sugar that drove the island’s economy and rotted a lot of teeth for so many years. Skipping forward a few history books to today, Barbados presently thrives off tourism rather than sugar. Although the sugar industry remained vibrant for several decades, the influx of tourist from various parts of the world has, and continues to generate a ton of revenue for the island.

However, earlier this year, I visited Barbados and was sad to see how much it has changed since I left eight years ago. The sugar cane fields I once passed on my way to school have disappeared and been replaced with luscious golf courses. The well manicured lawns, once wild with cane are now host to many avid golf players (including Tiger Woods) during their vacation time.

As for the sugar factories, they have all closed down. Fortunately, we are still producing the local rum (Mount Gay Rum – which is sold in the LCBO). However, the small island has been sucked into an industry that continues to undermine the culture and heritage that I grew up with. The cow patches and small cricket fields (where locals play their Sunday game) are slowly disappearing into car dealerships and fast food chains. The local bars and rums shops are now competing with upscale five star restaurants. Although these changes are inevitable, it is sad to see the local character of the island slowly disappear.

So, in light of celebrating Barbados’s independence today, I try to hold on to all the great memories I have of the small island, which sadly, is no longer just the sun and the sea.

The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button

I started Christmas shopping early this year, in hopes of avoiding the crazy crowds of last minute shoppers. Combing the book tables at Indigo, I stumbled upon this small black book, quaintly titled: “The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button.” Examining the front cover illustration by Calef Brown, I immediately assumed this book was for kids. However, upon reading the introduction I realized that it was far from a simple children's tale. Written by F.Scott Fitzgerald (who also wrote the Great Gatsby), this book takes readers on a short adventure filled with despair, frustration, and downright absurdity.

Challenging are everyday morality, Benjamin Button is born into the world as an old man instead of a baby. Given that it's not the norm for a woman to give birth to an old man, Benjamin is immediately rejected by his father. Capturing his father’s heartbreak, Fitzgerald provides a glimpse into the disappointment Mr.Button must deal with for the rest of his life.

As dire as the situation is, Fitzgerald also gives the story a comical twist, detailing the idiotic things Mr. Button does to make his son more "baby like." He gives Benjamin toys to play with, makes him sit with other babies and makes him drink baby milk. Although the situation is quite humiliating for Benjamin and his parents, the family is able to maintain a stable relationship with the rest of the townspeople.

After reading the first few pages, I was worried that the story would go downhill. But Fitzgerald doesn’t disappoint. Every chapter provides a glimpse of Benjamin’s absurd but amusing life. The further I read, the younger Benjamin becomes. When he reaches the age of 50, he begins to be more compatible with his father. He then marries a young spritly women, who temporarily capitivates and entices him. However, he soon outgrows her. To the despair of his middle age wife, Benjamin transforms into a strapping young lad, hot to trot around town with the young debutantes.

Sadly, the story begins to spiral downwards as Benjamin continues to become younger, even younger than his own son Roscoe. Like his own father did, Roscoe rejects Benjamin, giving him no room to exercise control over his life. In the closing chapters, Benjamin sinks into the state of babyhood, and is finally confined to a crib with only a nanny to comfort him.

My rough outline is a mere glimpse into Fitzgerald’s brilliant and endearing story. To get the full affect, I recommend that you take an hour (literally, its that easy to read) out of your day to read the tale of Benjamin Button.

To me, the moral of the story is that age doesn't matter. It shouldn’t prevent you from going after what you want in life. You often find people complaining about getting older, but Fitzgerald points out that growing younger (as Benjamin did) is just as hard as growing old.

So be content, no matter what age you are, and just get out there and do it!

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Curious Case of Benjamin Button has been adapted into a major motion picture and will hit the big screen next month.

Finding xmas presents in your suitcase

Shopping, especially at Christmas time, is problematic for two basic reasons. Firstly, what do you get someone they haven’t already gotten for themselves? Secondly, where can you get a gift cheap, without looking cheap?

Since my family are not big chocolate lovers, all those Cadbury and Lindt Christmas boxes (you can find in Shoppers Drug mart) have melted off my option list. Although I could buy some new dress shirts for my dad and brother, I’m pretty sure my mom has their cupboards lined from wall to wall. And what about my mom’s gift? Perfume, lotion, shoes, books – they’ve all be done and done again.

Okay, so this basically leaves me with two options. Tell my parents that I’m broke (because of my Starbucks addiction) and promise to get them something in the New Year. Or, get the creative juices flowing and search high and low for a unique, but reasonably priced gift.
To be honest, I am broke because of my Starbucks addiction, but I decided to put on my thinking cap, and search for some treasures outside the mall.

Doing the usual Google search I came upon an interesting website about the unclaimed baggage centre. Although I’m not a frequent flyer I have often wondered where unclaimed baggage ends up once it gets separated from its owner. I remember misplacing a suitcase on a trip to Barbados. Thankfully it was returned with all my dirty clothes, flip flops and of course those mind numbing philosophy books, which I wouldn’t have minded losing. Adios, Plato!

Anyways, according to the unclaimed baggage centre, after at least 90 days of tracking by the airlines, baggage or luggage is declared unclaimed. Capitalizing off these misplaced pieces, Doyle Owens in 1970 began a one of kind store in Scottsboro, Alabama selling unclaimed and lost baggage. Additionally, the center also sells unclaimed cargo from various freight lines. Today, the center stocks more than 7,000 new and pre-owned items daily including designer clothes, jewellery, electronics and sporting goods. All the items are priced 20 to 80% off retail value.

Although you may turn up your nose at the idea of getting somebody else’s stuff, the center does wash, clean and repair everything they intend to sell. According to the website they operate the busiest laundry and dry cleaning facility in the area.

Some of the more interesting items that they happened to find include a 40.95 carat natural emerald. The centre has also stumbled upon odd items like a Barbie doll stuffed with a roll of $500 in bills, a live rattle snake, a full suit of armour, and the life size face of Hoggle, a Muppet character from the movie, Labryinth.

Unfortunately, I don’t have time to fly down to Scottsboro, to see all these quirky but very interesting things that would make great Christmas presents.

But, as we all know, it’s the thought (not necessarily the gift) that counts in the end.

Taking a bite, out of Twilight

A few months ago, I was walking past Indigo bookstore when something caught my eye. Don't worry - it had nothing to do with Starbucks. It was actually a book called Twilight. With a stark black background and a shiny red apple gracing the cover, it definitely stood out from the other novels lining the table. Since curiosity always gets the better of me, I zipped into the store, picked it up, and quickly read the back cover. Sadly, it was nothing more than a vampire book.

Although I never ended up reading Twilight (I opted for Obama's biography that day), masses of people both young and old have been 'sucked' into this vampire series. So far, the Twilight books have sold more than 25 million copies worldwide. In addition to Twilight, Stephenie Meyer has written three more books in the series, including New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. It will be interesting to see how well these books fare on the big screen.

Like the Harry Potter series, Meyer's Twilight finally hit the big screens this month. Just last week the stars of the film graced the streets of downtown Toronto signing autographs at the MuchMusic hub. A day before the stars appearance, I ran into a coworker (at my oh-so wonderful retail job) who camped out for a night to see this dashing new star, Robert Pattinson. Camping out in Toronto, in the middle of November, to see a pale ass dude? Yea right. Luckily, I was saved from such an overrated mob scene. But, I did give in and see the movie.

I've never written a movie review, and in light of not reading the book, this might be a shot in the dark. But I stuck through more than two hours of mind numbing screenwriting, so I should be okay.

For starters, the main character, Isabella Swan, or 'Bella' as she would rather be called, opens the first scene preparing to leave for her father's house. Carrying a small cactus in her arm, she descends about the forlorn and desperately small town of Forks in Washington, to visit her dad. Unfortunately, the awkward tension between the two creates an uncomfortable and downcast tone throughout the movie. Moroever, the quick snapshot of the separated family, unfolds a little too fast and viewers are left hanging as to why Bella's parents are separated and why her mom is gallivanting across the country with her new beau (however, this is explained later, but in bits and pieces).

Watching the previews, I was surprised that the vampires, especially the cute young fella, Edward Cullen (played by Pattinson) didn't make an appearance right at the beginning. Instead of this dashing young vampire, I sat watching a sad and ghostly white girl trot around her new high school. Given her drab and sligtly introverted demeanour, its strange that she becomes an instant hit with nearly everyone at the school. Again, maybe I would have to read the book to understand why this is.

Thankfully, with her new possy in tow, Bella gets a rundown on the whole school, including the Cullen family. The Cullen's are not easy to miss since they are so frigging pale. I don't know whether to credit the makeup artist or tear her apart. Caked in a delicate white powder, the whole Cullen family struts around the set like a sickly bunch of anemics.

No big surprise, the Cullens turn out to be vampires. However, the strangest part about this family is that they can coexist with other humans without needing to feed off them. Moreover I still can't figure out, why Mr.Cullen (the father figure) assumes the role of a doctor. Come on, that's ridiculous. How can a vampire be exposed (on a daily basis) to the flesh and blood of humans, and still have the will power to resist having a little bite?

Like any romantic thriller, you would assume there would be some sort of romance between the two lovers. However, the physical tension between Edward and Bella definitely killed the whole Romeo and Juliet atmosphere. Unfortunately, it seemed more like a tragic comedy, especially in one of the earlier scenes when Bella is nearly crushed by a car and Edward, her vampire beau swoops in to save her. Instead of thanking him, the ensuing dialogue is sadly comical. Here is a snippet, just in case you missed it.

Bella: Are you going to tell me how you stopped the van?

Edward: Yeah. Um... I had an adrenaline rush. It's very common. You can Google it

Anyways, besides a few moronic scenes (like the one above) the movie does improve. The two eventually muster up the courage to kiss. But that's it. He doesnt he even take one bite of her.

So, is it a worthwhile movie to spend a few bucks on? Yes and No.

Yes, if you enjoy a slow, choppy movie where unseasoned actors move awkwardly between scenes. No, if you are looking for an action-pacted, adrenaline rushing flick with actors who actually evoke some sort of emotion and passion as they spit out their lines.

Ofcourse, I might have enjoyed the film a whole lot more if I had read the book. But, I doubt it.

'Pale' and simple. It sucked.

Don't forget to smile

As a customer you have a completely different view of retail. You walk in, browse the store, unfold the clothes, avoid any small talk with the staff and move to cash as quickly as possible.

As a sales clerk, you walk up to the customer who curtly brushes you off, refold the clothes they leave in big messy piles, and try to avoid their impatient glances while you ring them in at cash. After they leave the store, you mutter a sigh of relief and wait for the next crazy customer to arrive. But wait! You suddenly hear the alarm beeping at the entrance of store and see your customer (even more pissed off) pull their item out of the bag with the security tag still attached. Of course, you then have to apologize profusely (as they give you dagger eyes) and take off the tag so they can get the hell out of the store.

With that in mind and after three weeks of working at a certain store in the mall, I learnt that retail was a totally different ball game when you’re on the other side of fence, or more fittingly, the sales rack. For starters, you always have to be wearing a big smile and come to work with ‘high energy,’ as if you gobbled down a bottle of Prozac to keep you buzzing around customers like a nagging bee.

Secondly, you have to constantly reiterate the same stuff about promotions, just in case your customers are incapable of reading the BIG, BOLD SALE signs posted on every wall of the store.

Thirdly, you have to wear this ridiculous headset. Ridiculous, for several reasons. Firstly, you can easily communicate with your co workers by walking over to them and asking them what you need. Secondly, if another employee is interested in telling you how to do your job, they can tell you discretley rather than annoucing it over the headset, so everybody else knows your business. Thirdly, the head set is frigging uncomfortable. My ears may be big, but every time i put that thing on, it cut off the circulation in my ear. Moreover, the cord attached to the headpiece always got caught on the little nooks and crannies around the store. As a result, I was left hanging off a sales rack or table as the customers skirted past me.

As you may have guessed, retail is not my forte. Although I enjoy talking to most people - eager moms shopping for their teenage daughter, school girls chatting away on their pinkberrys and razor phones, and little old grannies buying presents for their grandchildren, i absolutely dread pushing any of the products on them. Being a sales clerk may look easy enough, but when you have someone constantly barking at you on the headset about selling a customer this and that, you tend to be less enthusiastic about doing your job.

Although I spent less than a month at my retail job I did learn a few things.

One, don’t forget to smile. Two, headsets are a complete waste of time. I’ve got legs and can walk over to my co-workers to ask them something. Three, no matter how much you push the product, the actual sale depends on the customer’s wants or needs. And frankly, they might not be in the market for what your offering, and may be just killing time before they meet someone in the mall. In the end, if the product is that good it will sell itself, you won’t need to sell it.

So, whats the solution?

In my particular case, it came in the form of a little white letter, a polite “I quit” and.....a big smile.

Reflections on Halloween

Finding a costume for Halloween, an original costume (not like the ones lining the shelves in Shoppers Drug Mart) proved to be a more difficult task than I first expected. On average, girls tend to be scantily dressed in child sized outfits that barely hide their you-know-whats. In most costume stores, you will find those classic girly outfits like the French maid, the burlesque dancer, the sailor girl – and practically anything else that turns fun and sexy into slutty and vulgar. Trying to buck the trend of the whorish Halloween attire I did an extensive Google search looking for my costume. Despite many results (including a black eye pea costume – so cute!), nothing caught my eye. So, for several sad minutes I starred aimlessly at the Google home page trying to think of what I was really looking for. Little did I know, that my costume was glaring right back at me. Yes - I would be Google Girl. Although I had doubts about how it would go over, I knew it would be something different to the hoards of young women strutting down the street in their seductive stockings, frilly little skirts and overflowing tops.

Anyways, aside from the tramp like attire being showcased on the city streets ,I didn’t see any other search engines (like Yahoo or MSN) wondering about on Halloween. Unfortunately, some people (in really poor taste) chose to satirize political figures by wearing Sarah Palin inspired costumes. For weeks on end, Palin has been criticized by the media for her outlandish wardrobe expenses, her lack of foreign policy experience (just watch the Katie Couric interview) and several other issues. Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worst last week, when two young men decided to decorate their house for Halloween with the republican figurehead. Sporting her signature red dress, the young man hung an imitation doll of Palin from their roof, while a figure of John McCain spurted out the chimney in fake flames. Not surprisingly, their decorative efforts made headlines, and once again poor Palin was being trashed and hung out to dry. Democratic candidate, Barack Obama did not escape ridicule either. Two men were arrested in Lexington after hanging an Obama effigy from a tree outside the University of Kentucky.

Aside from the tasteless Halloween jokes, there were several tragic events that happened over the weekend. In South Carolina, a 12 year old boy was shot dead while out trick or treating. The incident occurred after the resident (Quentin Patrick) heard a knock at his door and assumed that he was being robbed. Patrick released 29 shots from his assault rifle killing the boy and injuring his younger brother and father. Back here in Toronto, a man dressed as the journalist Hunter Thompson was stabbed with a broken beer bottle in the downtown area. The suspects implicated in this incident remain unknown (since they were also wearing costume) and have yet too been found,. Although I could go on about other incidents, I think these two incidents are scary enough for now.

In retrospect, I realized that my costume frenzy wasn’t as difficult as I had previously thought. In the end what was more worrisome was the costume mockeries of Sarah Palin. Although the Palin inspired costume is somewhat funny (like Tina Fey’s SNL spoof) it’s still disheartening to see that people will use any opportunity to ridicule the U.S vice presidential candidate.

Hopefully all the backbiting and belittling of presidential and vice presidential contenders will come to a halt when the polls close tomorrow.

However, depending on what the results are, Palin could make another appearance at Halloween next year.